Esperando el Impacto

19 December, 2007 - 4.00am

Odile Arisel Perez. My roommate, but most importantly long time friend, has gone missing. She's nowhere to be found & hasn't been spotted anywhere in London within the last 24 hrs, not even in her favorite "pick-me-up" spot, 2nd floor of the LSE Library. Usually sandwiched between a large, 90-lb backpack & a boy w/ really, & I mean really, bad BO, Odile has definitely not set ground anywhere within a 3 km radius of the building, affirms LSE Library Security Guard, also Guardian Angel to Odile (thanks to her persistent hello's & genuine concern for under-represented minorities in the LSE Workforce).

Sources suggest a kidnapping, possibly by a quiet, suspiscious looking white man (see figure left) dressed in what has been described as a blue, oddly large, & poorly worn cape of some sort. After international cooperation & foreign intelligence aid, the garment has been decoded & identified as a flag - yes, of a small, definitely unknown, region of Spain by the name of Asturias (language: Bable - go figure). Odile was also inconspiciously shot interacting with potential Asturian culprit just days before her disappearance, in what appears to be a plea for safety, as made clear by the look of concern on her unweathered face (see figure right bottom).

The only traces left in her apartment - 1 set of keys, 1 empty glass, 3 tangerines, & 1 crab leg. So far, only 1 set of fingerprints have been discovered, though they appear to also be of Asturian decent! If she has been taken prisoner, she will most likely be concealed by her kidnapper but may attempt to signal to the external world via facial expressions of terror during unpredictable moments of opportunity. High-tech computing power at the Kusnir Institute of Emotion Detection (KIED) has put forth photographic images of how Odile may appear in such moments (see figure right top).

I affirm that, unfortunately, Odile wouldn't have been able to run away from danger, as she's usually wrapped in a 100-lb Eskimo coat that even Hulk Hogan would have trouble walking in - that is, she's undeniably unable to move even at normal human pace. I am in serious medical withdrawal & am not able to comment further regarding this issue, though I'll admit that I was found earlier laying nearly comatose in my bed mysteriously mouthing the words, Mi Sapita, over & over again. In conclusion... Odile, YOU ARE MISSED. Joke's over! Come home.

Dave Matthews Band (w/ Victor Wooten, bass) - #41

Besos.