Whoever said sedatives were a good treatment for insomnia, clearly wasn't too concerned about tomorrow. That's to say - not only do most pills cause a physical dependence, but also their withdrawal symptoms include (quite ironically) insomnia itself. What sort of hope can such an outlook bring to those affected by nightly spells of perpetual sleeplessness?
Ahh, but no worries! I'm not a pessimist. And I've had plenty of time to think about potential solutions, as it is well past 5am. Don't get me wrong - it's not that running 3 miles a day & wearing oneself out completely isn't acceptable - it's just that the daily task quickly becomes a necessity & altogether boring.
Instead, I have the perfect remedy: the fMRI. (Please see figure above.) Ita vero (as my Latin teacher would say). I had this epiphany just 15 minutes ago as I remembered that, tomorrow, I've agreed to be somebody's test subject & lay in an fMRI machine for 2 hours. Much to my dismay - or rather, much to his dismay - I'm Sleepless in London & will more than likely fall asleep as soon as my body hits its (normally uninviting) metallic surfaces. Poor experimenter - he's going to see some inexplicable outliers in his data set when my brain activity starts resembling the delta waves associated with deep, dreamless sleep.
In conclusion, if you're an insomniac & would like to feel like it's actually a useful, evolutionarily-selective condition, and are also impelled to have a direct impact on scientific progress, then talk to your local research center, university, or hospital. Just keep quiet about the whole 'insomniac' thing - they don't need to know. Chances are, they'll be interested in recruiting you as a participant for some experiment, & you'll get your nightly - or rather, daily - beauty sleep while simultaneously being productive! And since you'll probably be getting paid for all this, you can go ahead & just stay awake during the nights; go to a concert, see a film, have some drinks - & blow some of that extra cash!
Ahh, but no worries! I'm not a pessimist. And I've had plenty of time to think about potential solutions, as it is well past 5am. Don't get me wrong - it's not that running 3 miles a day & wearing oneself out completely isn't acceptable - it's just that the daily task quickly becomes a necessity & altogether boring.
Instead, I have the perfect remedy: the fMRI. (Please see figure above.) Ita vero (as my Latin teacher would say). I had this epiphany just 15 minutes ago as I remembered that, tomorrow, I've agreed to be somebody's test subject & lay in an fMRI machine for 2 hours. Much to my dismay - or rather, much to his dismay - I'm Sleepless in London & will more than likely fall asleep as soon as my body hits its (normally uninviting) metallic surfaces. Poor experimenter - he's going to see some inexplicable outliers in his data set when my brain activity starts resembling the delta waves associated with deep, dreamless sleep.
In conclusion, if you're an insomniac & would like to feel like it's actually a useful, evolutionarily-selective condition, and are also impelled to have a direct impact on scientific progress, then talk to your local research center, university, or hospital. Just keep quiet about the whole 'insomniac' thing - they don't need to know. Chances are, they'll be interested in recruiting you as a participant for some experiment, & you'll get your nightly - or rather, daily - beauty sleep while simultaneously being productive! And since you'll probably be getting paid for all this, you can go ahead & just stay awake during the nights; go to a concert, see a film, have some drinks - & blow some of that extra cash!
Besos.
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1 comment:
This was by far my favorite post of all. I have high hopes for the future and the potential cures it brings. As from my readings, it seems as though you will use this "disease" to your advantage and use the time to (ironically enough) find a solution for sleep deprivation.
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